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Archive for August, 2009

Last week my son called me and told me that his apartment had been broken into. All of his computers and recording equipment were stolen. This was his sole means of making money, as well as his entertainment and fun. To say he was upset is a huge understatement. We didn’t talk long, which didn’t matter because I seriously was speechless. After we got off the phone, I cried. I felt like I had really let him down. I didn’t have any answers, solutions, or fixes for him. I kept asking, ‘what am I suppose to do?, and how can I help?’

I realized that there was something I could do, and that was to help him move through and past this ordeal. If he was angry (which of course he was), he needed to think about that anger and feel it. Fully experience it, and then let it go. If he was depressed (which of course he was), he needed to think about the depression. Notice any thoughts becoming attached to this situation. What ever emotion and feeling he was or is going to have, he needs to be with it and observe it so that he can go through the process and move onto to living his life. I cautioned him about the need for making decisions from a thought process rather than an emotion.  I reminded him that how he experiences and acts to what has happened is fully within his control. As Gandhi said, “Nobody can hurt me without my permission.”

I think it’s beneficial and important to embrace the emotion(s) that come to the surface when we are dealing with unusual or difficult situations in life. But the key is not to get stuck there with them. Not to become the victim for the rest of his life. Not become a bitter, angry man for the rest of his life. Rather, move on and go back to living life. He is a beautiful and exceptionally talented young man – there is no reason why that act has to taint or hinder him.  We are all given events in our lives that we would never choose to experience or go through. But how we choose to rise to the challenge is totally within our control. There are always options available for any given situation, it’s if we look for those opportunities with open eyes, hearts, and minds that makes the difference.

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Recently I have reconnected with friends of mine from when I was in middle school and high school. This is one of the joys of this ‘world wide web’ that we all use. Through these social networking sites I’ve been in contact with old friends from way back. What a true pleasure it has been, on several different levels, to stroll down memory lane. One particular girlfriend of mine – wait, let me set the stage, this had to be around 1977 or so. Now thinking back to what life was like back in the 70’s, it was a simpler way of life than today. And safer. We would walk everywhere. If there was a boy we liked, we would walk over to his neighborhood so we could walk by his house in hopes of catching a glimpse of him. I remember a special treat was when her older sister happened to be home one day, and took us swimming in a quarry one hot summer day. I can still remember how it felt when the little fish would nibble our toes.

Back in the 70’s, we listened to the radio all the time. Music was a big source of entertainment for us; we would call in request to the radio station and we would sing along with the songs. One particular song was Elton John & Kikki Dee’s Don’t Go Breaking My Heart. We would take turns singing the respective parts. After all these years, I still think back to her, and those times when I hear that song.

The beauty of visiting memory lane provides us some key insights into who we are now. I have lived my life, all these years, without much of a look back to my past. I was just a girl. But these memories are mine to hold dear forever. They also hold some insight into who I was and who I am today. When I look back at what I did for fun, what kind of friend I was, what kind of person did I pick as a friend back then; these all hold pieces of the puzzle that is me.

This has also made me realize how much I look to the future. This is something that I know about myself, but I see its impact even more. Sometimes, I think we only hold on to the ‘bad’ memories in order to serve us somehow. But I’m taking more time to clean out the cobwebs, and revisit my fun memories. What a joy it is thinking of people from my past. I’ve been thinking of old girlfriends and boyfriends that use to be so dear to me. Where are they all now? Sincerely wishing they are living a happy life.

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