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Archive for February, 2010

What a winter we’ve had! And even though at the time of this writing there are predictions for more snow this coming week, I am seeing signs of spring and changes to come. The big beautiful maple tree out front has little buds sprouting everywhere, taking on a red hue all over. I’ve seen the birds inspecting the various bird houses in our yard, looking for places to build their nests.

As far as changes around me, this week I learned that my mother will need another surgery. Within the next two months she will have her left hip replaced. We are, of course, cautious of putting her through another surgery so close to the major back surgery she had in December. The doctor feels she is good to go through this; and just as importantly, she feels she’s good to have the surgery. To say I’m proud of her is just not quite fitting. Perhaps it is better to say that I admire her acceptance and strength. And we all remain very hopeful that once she heals from this surgery she will be able to stand and walk again.

I have a very dear friend who is faced with the challenges of fighting cancer, to which I am in awe of her grace, determination and strength. Looking at the changes that have been occurring in my life since the end of last summer is a bit overwhelming. We’ve had our finances severely jeopardized, my mother is now in a nursing center, and I find myself questioning all the different hats I wear to earn income.

Yet all of these things reinforce the understanding that change is always at work. All of these “things” that I’ve noted above are evidence that change was happening long before I, or we, saw any signs of their happenings. Which tells me, that as I move through life now, faced with my challenges and decisions, there is an undercurrent flow of change happening. When we are frustrated because life is just not going as we want, that any of the different aspects of life should be better or something else, this reminder can help ease us through the seemingless never changing tides of time.

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As I sit here to write, I am watching the snow. For those of you who have attended the New Moon Hoop, I have referred to the position of the North, and being blanketed in snow. Well, I believe this year we have thoroughly been blanketed by snow. I use this analogy to create the visualization of a blanket around us and Mother Earth; one that is pure, soft, encompassing, and comforting. During this time of year nature creates the environment that keeps us inside, which in turn creates the atmosphere of settling down, nesting, resting… going within. This is all keeping within rhythm of the natural cycles that are necessary for our health.

 Late last night I saw a local news reporter interview a man who was staying at a local coffee-house and bookstore until they closed. He said he wanted to be out with people for as long as he could before he became isolated and stuck inside alone. I can remember a time when I, too, wasn’t comfortable or happy being alone.

 When I compare then to now, I look at what has changed in me to bring me to the place where I look forward to being alone. Where the idea of being isolated for a little while is desirous. So what has changed? For me, maturity and growth has brought about a comfort with myself. Awareness brought being able to enjoy this moment, without focusing on, or wishing for, something else. I am able to be ‘at home, watching the snow, enjoying the freedom of some time to do what I want, when I want.’ And in cultivating my life to be what I truly enjoy and want, I have created just that! I have learned about myself, my likes, what I enjoy. I’ve tuned into what brings me enjoyment and pleasure. And I seek out what I still want to do or learn.

I know there are many ways to self-discovery. I think that every little step you take towards knowing yourself better is a very good stride towards sincere inner-happiness. Whether it be for days you’re isolated due to snow, or for the even grander vision of your overall happiness and well-being.

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