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Archive for July, 2012

So much has happened in July, and I’m sort of glad to see the month done. I was expressing that I’m getting to think that July is a ‘bad’ month. Four very special women have all passed in the month of July (over the course of 5 years) which made me start to feel that July was not good. I was quickly reminded of all the wonderful things that have happened in July too.  

After Shari’s passing, I heard so many stories of all the “signs” that people saw that definitely gave them reassurance of her presence.  Last week I was in a conversation at the store with a couple of women about noticing signs.  In these conversations I realized that we all see and seek signs differently. I look to nature: the animals, activity, the clouds, wind and weather,  the plants. Not that I don’t acknowledge messages from other means or in other environments, but I go first to nature. And these signs or messages, what is this all about anyway? Is it wishful thinking, or my imagination? As my nephew told me this past weekend (he’s studying psychology at Towson) the average ‘healthy’ person has about 5 hallucinations a year. Well, that’s interesting. I reactively wanted to say “oh, I know the difference when something is questionable and when it’s real.” But do I? And does it matter – especially if I am finding comfort and my faith is restored? It would matter if I am looking at these signs negatively – like thinking July is a ‘bad’ month. 

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Lately my emotions seem to be as tumultuous as the weather.  In matters of my physical health, I’ve had some problems arise that instantly put me in a huge state of fear.  I’ve come to learn a little something about myself and fear; when I don’t to some extent understand what is happening or going to happen, I become consumed by fear and anxiety. Of course “the unknown” can be scary.

In the midst of all this fear and obsessing, I watched one of the Super Soul Sunday’s when Oprah interviewed Caroline Myss. Caroline Myss spoke about the state of fear, and that you can choose the path of  Love instead of being in that place of fear. To me this means that when I am in fear, I feel separated or isolated and unprotected. But when I feel Love, I feel connected, a part of, and secure. Hence, I choose the path of Love!

Thanks to Mish, I don’t want to just alter my perceptions and ignore what this fear is doing for me. I know that I (or parts of me) shift  into detective mode, learning and discovering all I can so that I’m not vulnerable by ignorance. It also puts me even deeper into self-awareness. I do become very introspective and pay ultra-close attention to what is happening inside of my body. This is very valuable, and I appreciate what this part has done for me.

July also marks the one-year anniversary of my mother’s passing. I pay homage to an amazing woman. I love you so much, Mom.

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