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Archive for April, 2016

When the weatherman on tv said that this is the season of change, he got my full attention. Of course he’s talking meteorologically, but I’m thinking about myself. I love the choice of words people use, and how they can mean very different things to different people. I do feel that I am in the middle of change.
One aspect of this change I feel is with my job. It was a very big change for me to go back to the corporate work place after the store. Well, working for Barrie was a pleasure too; and even though that was an office, she is truly exemplary to work for. But going back to a full-time office job in a fairly decent size company did jar me out of the healing, empowering environment/job I had grown quite used to. I had adjustments bringing my tattooed and Reiki-minded self into an office with your mainstream people. And I reverted back to some old tendencies – shyness and taking a long time to feel “a part of.”
I look at these parts of myself and remember they were there when we moved from state to state, when I wasn’t able to really establish any deep friendships. For a stretch of time, I never felt a part of any place we lived. In 5th grade I went to three different schools in three different states! I understand how this protective side of me jumped up when I felt venerable again, when I was new to the established office.
Well to show you how this has all changed in a relatively short two and a half years – just yesterday, two friends/co-workers and I went to our new office and smudged and blessed the building! Yes, the owner was completely onboard with this, and he would have helped us if he had not had previous commitments.
Here I held my authentic self back when I first started there – not so much for fear of being judged, but because of not feeling safe enough to really trust that I would be “a part of.” So I thank my 5th-grade self for being so ready to help me again, when she was so insecure starting someplace new again. And I hold my authentic self’s hand and help her feel wanted and a part of this office.
On another note – I am not going to hold Hoop in April. I am taking a class at CSM, and finishing up an online class at Harvard. I struggled with this decision, because I so want to sit in Circle with you ladies! However, my sleep requirements have more of an impact on my brain functions these days. So we will resume in May.

Wishing you the ability to learn from this season of change, and that the change be wonderful!

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