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Archive for the ‘Opinion’ Category

As you know, I work for Hospice. I have been a home health aide for just shy of 2 years now. I know how the program works, I know what we do, I am an integral part of the Hospice team.  However, I also became a family member on the receiving end of Hospice. The team did not allow me to participate in my father in laws care; instead they told me to just be his daughter in law.

I always say I’m so lucky to have a job that I get paid to love people.  But to be on the receiving end of this changed my perspective.  I know we have a big impact on our patients and their families, they tell us all the time. To see how Hospice works from the family’s perspective was enlightening, very touching and heartwarming.

Most of us think and feel it is better to give than to receive. Well, sometimes we need to receive – and it’s not only ok, but very good for us to receive. Being on the receiving side I find myself short on words that genuinely tell the depth of our appreciation.

A week or so after my father in law’s passing one of our social workers checked in with me to see how I was doing, and she asked me what I was going to do for self-care that weekend. Not sure what my expression took over my face, but she posed a concept that hadn’t been at the forefront of my thoughts. I think I mumbled something about attending a funeral, and doing the same ol’ chores and errands I do every weekend.

With her gentle suggestion fresh on my mind, that weekend I did splurge and pamper myself. While going for my morning jog, I intentionally smiled and appreciated all of nature. After attending that funeral I indulged in a little retail therapy which I was going to do online, but opted instead to enjoy a little bit of time walking around the stores instead. And I listened to my internal dialog and spent extra time writing.

Gratitude is about shifting your attention to appreciation for what is there, for what you are and what you have. And Kimberly helped me shift my focus to appreciation, to enjoying life, appreciating nature’s surroundings, and to allowing myself to slow down and to spend a little time on myself.

All the robins are busy in my front yard, the tulips are starting to grow, and I’m hoping the weather becomes more cooperative and that I can get a garden planted this year! I hope this month is filled with all sorts of things that bring a smile to your heart.

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Happy New Year!

What will 2019 bring? For one thing, it will bring 365 days of opportunities.  In past years, there were plenty of New Year’s met without any goals or resolutions. I would easily fall back to my old standby “to be a better person than I was the previous year.”   As with many resolutions it was made with good intentions. Even though it was one that didn’t require much effort as I always strive to be a better person every day.

This year… I do have some things on my calendar that I am looking forward to. First being a trip to AZ to celebrate my father’s 90th birthday with him. My son, sister and hopefully my brother and nephew will be there as well. I’m also looking forward to teaching more this year. This past November I held a Reiki I class, I hadn’t taught Reiki in a couple of years and it felt truly wonderful to teach again. And this year I’ll be teaching more classes.

After over 2 years of getting established in the healthcare industry, and finding my niche there, I am now really starting to blend my two worlds.

Pondering a New Year’s resolution, I looked to Wiki where they define resolution as a resolve to change an undesired trait or behavior to accomplish a personal goal or otherwise improve their life.  Hmm, ‘improve life’, that’s good. Let’s look at the synonyms for resolution, and I find the words determination and purpose.  Yes, I like that – what is my purpose for this year.  Working in Hospice, it is easy to see what the purpose should be – to enjoy life!  That sounds kind of flippant, but I genuinely mean it.

But how to do this when you have serious problems and stresses, which are extremely difficult, hard, and overwhelming? It’s easy to say, go take a walk outside and notice the insects and rocks on the ground where your about to step. Look at the sky and the clouds, what do you see in them? Do you recognize any of the birds you see or hear? Feel the winds on your face and smell the air. Where are your thoughts meandering to? For me this is at the top of my list of pure enjoyment – but maybe that does not bring any pleasure to you at all.  And in no way am I offering a Pollyanna opinion.  Another way of looking at this is to look for and recognize these moments and be fully present in these moments.  Maybe better said is to make a priority of finding moments of enjoyment, doing some little things that bring you happiness.

The numerology for 2019 is a 3 year! This triad, the 3 representing beginning, middle and end/father, mother, child/mind, body, spirit, represents creative self-expression, relationships, optimism, and inspiration.

Wishing you much peace and all the best in 2019!

 

“Keeping Quiet” by Pablo Neruda

Now we will count to twelve and we will all keep still.

For once on the face of the earth, let’s not speak in any language; let’s stop for one second, and not move our arms so much.

It would be an exotic moment without rush, without engines; we would all be together in a sudden strangeness.

Fishermen in the cold sea would not harm whales and the man gathering salt would look at his hurt hands.

Those who prepare green wars, wars with gas, wars with fire, victories with no survivors, would put on clean clothes and walk about with their brothers in the shade, doing nothing.

What I want should not be confused with total inactivity. Life is what it is about; I want no truck with death.

If we were not so single-minded about keeping our lives moving, and for once could do nothing, perhaps a huge silence might interrupt this sadness of never understanding ourselves and of threatening ourselves with death. Perhaps the earth can teach us as when everything seems dead and later proves to be alive.

Now I’ll count up to twelve and you keep quiet and I will go away.

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It’s been several months since I’ve written. There were a couple of factors at play that really squelched my writing outlet.  One stumbling block for me was my ego.  I started equating statistics of my newsletter above the whole reason behind my newsletter.  And that reason was to share my journey, my life if you will, with anyone that wants to read.  To share lessons I’m learning, words I’ve read that make me really pause and challenge my thoughts, and to share what inspires me.  So now I’m re-focusing on my initial drive to write – to bring my authentic passion into my writing outlet.

Well, we’re at the onset of spring. Where everything is getting ready to bloom, to start anew.   I have just started a new certification program to become a Hospice and Palliative CNA.  Marvin and I are getting ready to start a list of improvement projects around the house.   And  I’m looking forward to my best friends visit. She will be here for the New Moon Hoop on the 17th!  It seems I have a lot going on this month.

Astrologically, we’ll have two Full Moons this month and Mercury will go retrograde on the 22nd. Meteorologically March has come in like a lion!  I truly feel that the last year or better has had the energy of a lion marching forth.

Wishing you a month springing forth with fresh newness, good health, and a bit of a lion’s strength to support you.

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I have Louise Hay’s Heart Thoughts in my bathroom, and each morning I open to a random page to read and ponder. This morning I opened to the subject Time. She writes:

I am here at the right time.

We are all on an endless journey through eternity and the time we spend on this plane of action is but a brief instant. We choose to come to this planet to learn lessons and to work on our spiritual growth, and to expand our capacity to love. There is no right time and no wrong time to come and go. We always come in the middle of the movie and we leave in the middle of the movie. We leave when our particular task is finished. We come to learn to love ourselves more and to share that love with all those around us. We come to open our hearts on a much deeper level. Our capacity to love is the only thing we take with us when we leave. If you left today, how much would you take?

Sometimes I have felt oddly out of place in my life, and other times I know I’m right where I need to be.  In my young adulthood, I truly felt like I was born too late.  Perhaps the better way to articulate is to say I felt that I should have been born in the 50’s rather than the 60’s. I felt all that happened in the 60’s were definitely the environment I wanted to appreciate and be a part of at a more mature age.

In the 1980’s and 90’s I was quite unsettled and impatient. It was a time of searching – for a different life, for spirituality and knowledge, and in retrospect – searching for my true me.  Then the first dozen or so years of 2000 was so heavy with commitment, change, and some very heavy stuff. All that “stuff” is what has led me to the life I have now.  Sometimes I catch myself going down the ol’ what if road: what if I hadn’t sold the store, what if I had gone to nursing school earlier when the desire first bloomed, what if we hadn’t invested with that particular guy. Chasing my own tail is something I can get stuck doing, if I don’t straighten myself out of it.

So reading Louise Hay’s inner wisdom words on time has been good for me.  This year I find myself in a place I hadn’t previously envisioned. I ended up in a job that although I fervently fought it so much in the beginning, has turned out to be such a blessing.  And of all the jobs in my life, I sincerely feel that I am here at the right time.

Changing subjects now, I know the holidays are not fun or happy or good for a lot of people. I know this time of year can be very depressing or lonely and hard. During these hard times, I hope you find the strength to look back at happy memories, to revisit feeling good especially during this time of year; and to tap into your creative and playful self to build new moments and memories that help you.

I sincerely hope everyone finds opportunities to play this month – after all, isn’t this the month for festivities.  And as always, I wish you much peace and joy this month.

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Oh my gracious, it is July already! This year is more than half over, or if you’re the optimist, then we still have almost a half a year left.  And what a difference a month makes.  I am starting out July with a calmness that I would not have guessed back in June, and I’m starting with a new position with MedStar.

James Freeman Clarke wrote “We are either progressing or retrograding all the while; there is no such thing as remaining stationary in this life.”   I mentioned last month that there were going to be several astrological events in June, with a few planets going direct.  Well, whether the planets going direct had anything to do with my life, or if timing just happened to be coinciding with these events, things in my life have changed.

I was contacted by Hospice House for a position they had available and thought I’d be a good fit.  I interviewed, we talked, and I even worked along with one of their techs for a day.   But I felt like I was stuck in the grove of chasing my tail trying to figure out what I wanted to do.  Basically the old adage of the known chaos being preferred to the unknown…  I talked with Barrie, god she is so great at helping me to stop going in circles and pinpoint what my issues really are.  I am excited to say I will be starting my new position on Monday.

My last day on the floor was yesterday, and as usual it was a hectic, stressful and hard.  The other techs and nurses on the floor all voiced their excitement and encouragement for me, unanimously agreeing they think I will be wonderful in this new position.  Looking back at the first half of the year and all I went through with my career change, I can say for certain that I could not do the job I’m about to do without having had this job first.

Now that I’m getting my head out of my own self-absorbed thoughts, I’m realizing all the changes everyone around me has had this year.  It’s been a dynamic year with some really major things going on for just about everyone.  I think it’s very important to talk to people you trust and respect if you are going through big changes, or find yourself chasing your own tail with things you just can’t figure out.   Equally as important as taking time to be still and present with yourself.

In the very active summer month I hope you’re able to take time out for summer time play, and to sit and simply watch the lighting bugs light up at night.

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Yesterday I was being treated to the most wonderful reflexology treatment here at my house. We had begun and were well into my one foot when it sunk into me that Winnie was whining and crying unlike she’s ever done. I knew she wanted to come out with us, but this was moving into more of a desperation cry. So we stopped to go get her and found her stuck in between the posts of the gate! Her head, both front legs and shoulders were on one side of the rungs, and the rest of her on the other side.  With a few panicked calls and an extra set of hands, we successfully pushed the rungs apart and backed her out of the gate. I’m still watching her to make sure she hasn’t hurt anything, and that she’s ok. My poor puppy! And dear sweet Norma not only supported Winnie with her gentle and calm energy while we rescued her, but then was able to take my right back into the wonderful treatment to finish, only with Winnie in with us after that.

In a few weeks it’ll be the vernal equinox and we’ll officially be in summer.  The weather sure hasn’t felt like summer!  I’ve been reading that June will host several astrological events.  From what I’m understanding there have been several planets that were retrograde, but many of them will become direct this month. Jan Spiller is the astrologer I most often consult, and reading her Astrological Edge for June provides me with a little glimmer of hope that I’ll find a little clarity this month.

While I had some wonderful things in May (my father visiting and my birthday just to name a couple), I’m still burdened with the career change I made this year. I am still actively trying to make it better. So I have hopes for what June holds for me.

Wishing you a fun filled month of clarity!

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Happy New Year!

This morning as I sat down at my computer, I watched this very little spider in the window right in front of me. And I think about her weaving her web – creating her home, her space. Isn’t that exactly where we all are, getting ready to weave and create our new year?

For Christmas my brother gave me the book “The Secret Power of Spirit Animals” by Skye Alexander, and believe it or not – this is a book I had not seen or read before. So let’s take a look at what she tells us about Spider:

Industrious and imaginative, you work hard to bring your ideas to fruition. You like to see your creativity take physical form, and might excel at weaving, woodworking, interior design, or architecture. You skillfully use your talents to provide for yourself, just as the spider builds a web to capture its prey. In numerology, the spider’s eight legs signify business acumen and material success. With your thoughts emotions and actions you weave your world into being, but you need to learn how to trap what you want without trapping yourself in unhealthy, poisonous patterns. If you see a spider in nature or dream, it may presage a period of creative activity. A spider’s appearance can warn you not to get caught in a web, either of your own making or someone else’s. Sometimes a spider shows up to point out poisonous attitudes or behaviors.

In numerology 2017 is a 1 year, signaling the start of a new cycle. Well, I will definitely be starting all a new this year with a whole new career. I will be starting at St. Mary’s hospital in early January as a nurse’s assistant! I spent all of 2016 weaving and creating my new career; and I like that I have the spider’s eight woven in with the new 1-year! This gives me a little extra courage – because as excited as I am, I am also a little scared.

It is with joy and gratitude I wish you and your loved ones a happy and healthy new year. I am proud to share in your life’s celebrations – both big and small – and am honored to be here for you. I look forward to sharing the many exciting things that are in our new year.

Namaste~

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